shit's going down in thorne (what else is new)

[funbreaker]

[ It's early evening when Thancred's message arrives, sent specifically to Istredd, Kyle, Stephen, and Yennefer. These are the people he's identified as the most at risk based on the note he received. To narrow it down to a number that could safely travel without attracting attention in the night had been its own monumental task, and he can only hope he's gotten it right.

Assuming all of them even agree to Jolene's offer. ]

Meet me in the secure wing of Istredd's domain in half an hour.
It's urgent.

[ Did he ask Istredd about this? No. Yet it's where they've had private meetings in the past, such as the one with their allies in the Free Cities, and so it seems the best option. Istredd will understand that if Thancred is invoking this, it's because it's serious. ]

Comments

[magicalarchaeologist]

I'm not important. [ And Istredd doesn't mean it in the way he used to. He has more value in himself now, it's more born out of logic. ] My reputation in Thorne is a harmless academic. Sidwell will see that and brush me off like all military people would. I'm not a threat.

[ Istredd can't know for absolute certain that he will get out of this. They don't know Sidwell well enough yet. He could be the kind to make violent gestures out of people, but he's skeptical of that. He's gambling his life and freedom on it, but he considers it a safe bet. One he'll make for himself, but not for her. Yennefer's always been the bigger target, in every aspect of their long lives. The leaders of the Brotherhood had it out for her, for example, powerful people always turn their eyes to her eventually.

Istredd holds her hands and sighs, lifting them to his lips to kiss the knuckles on each. He knows that this is the better approach to take, since them screaming at each other won't have them go anywhere. They can't have one of their fights and then make up after a day of silence. Time is of the essence. And this is the truth. It's a plea from the heart, not from the head. ]

Do you know what was on my mind when I thought you were dead after Sodden?

[ It's been awhile since he lingered on those memories but for a reason. They'd been agonizing at the time. Istredd said he always believed she was alive, that a part of him could feel her still, and it was the truth, but he also had to grapple with the possibility he was lying to himself. They've never talked about this. ]

That it was my fault. You came to me, and I pushed you away, and then you died.

[ Yennefer showed up at his dig and said the things he wanted to hear for decades, but he didn't trust it, he didn't want to hope again. It felt easier for them to not revisit what broke him in the first place. And a part of him was still angry at how thoroughly she discarded him. He drops one of her hands to reach up and brush her hair back, caressing her cheek. ]

You almost died coming to me in Cintra. You almost died in Thanedd. You almost died in Nocwich. I don't even know every other time your life has been threatened. Every time you keep living because you keep moving. Because you're a survivor, Yenna. And I need you to keep doing that.

[vixening]

Don't say that. [ she hisses, because while she knows he doesn't mean it in the same way, he still believes them to be true. in a different way, in a more logical way, but still. she can't just let him say that, can't agree with it no matter what she might throw at him when they fight. ] Your reputation is that of a Summoned who has learned their ways and their magic, and who is now teaching the others to know the same. You're stripping whatever power they might have had in their knowledge and you are inserting yourself in court. That isn't nothing, and if Sidwell is half the politician he thinks himself to be to pull something like this, he'll recognize that.

[ and yes, sure, yennefer is one of the few people here in abraxas that understand the extent of what istredd can do if he needed to. how powerful he can be, how dangerous. but even so, she knows what it is to be considered a prisoner in this castle. knows how much it had driven her mad. and that would be the least of istredd's worries, the worst easily being torture, death. yennefer knows what the queen has always been capable of, had tried to sideline it by attaching herself to her court. but if someone were going to depose her, she can only assume they have access to the same.

she can't have that - she's already stood by and watched someone she loved be torn apart by this kingdom. she can't stand the thought of it happening again.

he kisses her knuckles, his hands warm on hers, and yennefer knows what he's doing and can't do anything to stop it. she'd rather be angry, would rather scream and yell, perhaps even throw items across the room. let the sound of breaking glass and their indistinct voices tell everyone else in the castle that they're arguing again, that it can be shrugged off to be as simple as another one of their lovers quarrels.

but then he mentions sodden, and yennefer stills - it has been years since that point, and it feels like longer now, after their centuries of crafted memories, illusions inserted into their head. even so, she remembers it well - remembers the fire in her hands, the bodies around her feet. how that single night had changed so much. (she's been here, seen the pain and hurt and loss and anger in geralt's eyes when they came back with those memories, knowing, knowing what it had done to them, but-)

that I pushed you away, and then you died.

yennefer remembers it. it was a large reason as to why she was so angry with him when he'd first been summoned here, why she hadn't wanted to be in the same room as him. because she had gone to him. she had gone, and said what he had been waiting to hear, done everything right, had been certain that would be that, and he'd turned her away. it was pride, yes, but it had also been fear - fear that she's burned her last bridge, that there was nothing else left for her to go to.

in some ways, he had been the reason she went to sodden. why she'd ended up back at aretuza at all, when vilgefortz had first taken her aside, appealed to her senses. she'd liked him then, and gods, she'd been such a fool.

and now? now istredd's fingers brush her hair out of her eyes and she - perhaps a bit childishly - shakes her head, doesn't want to hear it. ] And where should I run? To Solvunn? To the Cities? I have run for so long, Istredd. When will it be done?

[ it isn't now - she knows that, even as the question leaves her. thorne was never meant to be her home, and for all that she's turned it into a place she can be comfortable, that still isn't true. she has too many others in other places, too many that she calls family, too many that she loves. but the question of when, of how, of if she'll ever get the chance to settle, anywhere...

she lets go of him with her other hand, taking bother and cupping each side of his face. the feel of his beard under her palm is familiar, it's good, but even as he holds his face some part of her knows it is something she will not have for much longer. not in this room, not like it has been for them.

but still, yennefer has to fight. has to ask. ]

What if it's time to make a stand? What if I don't want to leave these people? [ her eyes search his face, realizing how much she is looking for an answer to that question. how much she wants istredd to have an answer for her, even when she knows he can't.

because he does have a point. she can't ignore the logic of his argument, or the fact that if she decides to stay, it will most certainly mean another attempt on her life. how many does she have left to survive? how many until the final one? the fear of it settles in her chest, cold and rough. ]

I won't be hunted again. And I won't leave knowing you- [ she cuts herself off, shakes her head again. ] I can't.

[magicalarchaeologist]

[ A part of him does think he's unimportant. Mostly it's in comparison to others. Less important than her. Less important than Geralt, than Ciri, and also to the others here. Istredd never had any connections before. He had Triss and Yennefer, and the latter was taken from him in one way or another in their life, but he and Triss only saw one another occasionally. He was very alone, for a long time. And then he came here and he got Yenna back, but he also found friends. Family. A purpose and a place for himself.

That is why he understands her situation right now. She already lost at Thanedd and now it's being stripped away from her again. Not a home, Thorne isn't really that, but people can be a home. He isn't going to argue his lack of importance with her now. She understands courts better than him. If Istredd has made himself a presence here, it is because he wanted to stand next to her, her equal and support system. Apparently it worked too well. ]

I wish you could run to the Cities. I wish you could run right to Cirilla and never see this damned place again. You'd be where you belong, with them.

[ With Jaskier and Geralt and Ciri. Her true family, the people she loves above all others. She would be happy with them, that he knows. In a way she's not entirely used to, and Istredd would love that for her. She could be the mother and partner she's craved for decades. That's what she deserves. Istredd would toss her into a portal there if he could, without any regrets, because he loves her.

Unfortunately that is not likely to be an option right now. But he hopes that if she ever gets the chance, she'll take it. Free herself from this trap that she's been in. He can get locked behind and he's chosen it now, just as she did before. If he can carry her burden for her, he will. ]

There's no stand to make here, Yenna. We're not going to fight off a dictator. The best you can do for our people is go and regroup somewhere safe. You won't be leaving them for good. You'll see them all again.

[ If not in the Horizon, hopefully in Nocwich when she lands on her feet. Istredd assumes Nott is the obvious answer, although it could be Hayle, although that's a long trip. If she's moved to another territory, fine, but the point is, it's not here. And she will see all of them again. ]

You can. You know what you would say if our positions were reversed. You would have already kicked my ass and put me on a horse yourself. [ Istredd smiles, shaking his head, amused. ] Because you know it's what has to happen.

[ Istredd leans in and kisses her. With infinite gentleness and tenderness. If it's too passionate, it'll be like a kiss goodbye, and that will only upset them both more. Instead it's an expression of love and nothing more. No desperation that this is their last one because there will be others. A hundred years from now he will still kiss her like this, and that's his promise. Eight hundred years, even. ]

You have to trust me.