shit's going down in thorne (what else is new)

[funbreaker]

[ It's early evening when Thancred's message arrives, sent specifically to Istredd, Kyle, Stephen, and Yennefer. These are the people he's identified as the most at risk based on the note he received. To narrow it down to a number that could safely travel without attracting attention in the night had been its own monumental task, and he can only hope he's gotten it right.

Assuming all of them even agree to Jolene's offer. ]

Meet me in the secure wing of Istredd's domain in half an hour.
It's urgent.

[ Did he ask Istredd about this? No. Yet it's where they've had private meetings in the past, such as the one with their allies in the Free Cities, and so it seems the best option. Istredd will understand that if Thancred is invoking this, it's because it's serious. ]

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[funbreaker]

Surely I told you at one point. I was never an expert, mind, but...

[ Thancred shakes his head. That isn't what truly matters. The ability to weave spells had been ripped from him; Y'shtola had lost her sight. There had been consequences for most of them, with Himeka, Alphinaud, and Tataru fleeing to Ishgard in exile.

Yennefer's remark about his poor case draws a hollow laugh out of him. ]

Who said I was trying to convince you?

[ But of course, they both know why he's here.

He heaves out a breath and stares off to the other side of the room, where there are bottles and papers and other effects. Not that he's really looking at them. ]

Someone important to me... that was also the last day I saw her. [ He'd seen her in other forms after that, as the Word of the Mother, but not truly as just herself — as Minfilia. ] I told her to go ahead while I bought her and the others time, but still... [ His expression twitches as the pain of that old wound rises up, and he closes his eyes for a moment. ]

I make the wrong decision, and someone who matters to me gets hurt. That's always the trend, it seems. It happened to you in Nocwich. I don't...

[ He trails off, eyes blinking open again as he leans forward, hoping to take her hand. ]

I can't let that happen again, Yennefer.

[vixening]

[ it's possible he has told her before now - yennefer is not in a state to be stubborn about this. doesn't know if she would, even if she had the energy. but it's still all been sapped from her - the fight with istredd, the conversation with geralt, and now...

thancred offers a hollow laugh, and yennefer's smile is tired, small. they do both know why he's here, and in some way yennefer already knows what she's going to do. thancred being here, thancred talking about all of this, it feels more like a moment for her to confirm what she already knows. what she already feels. his stare is empty, distant. he's not looking at anything in particular, but yennefer is looking at him. watches as he speaks, as he says while I bout her and others time, as his expression twitches.

her chest tightens, whether it's through his emotions she picks up on, or the fact she knows where he is going with this. knows that the mention of nocwich is coming, before the word leaves his mouth. he does lean forward, his hand reaches out, and yennefer watches it.

i can't let that happen again, yennefer. ]

I hated you for a while, after Nocwich. [ she says after a brief silence, perhaps a bit bluntly. it's not meant to be harsh, or sharp, and truthfully she doesn't have the energy in her to even try. instead, she sets down her wine. looks back to him, to his outstretched hand. ]

There were very few within the castle I could trust, fewer who I could admit to myself I did. [ yennefer had been without magic, had been scared and cornered and so, so desperate. angry. a representative of the very crown she was so desperate to protect herself from.

it feels like lifetimes ago, and in a lot of ways it has been. still, it feels like there's so much more to go. so much more to do. her life feels as though it had only begun to settle, which she supposes means she should have expected something like this.

her eyes linger on her wine glass for a few moments, before she shakes her head. ] I've been betrayed before, by those close to me, and at the time those wounds still hadn't healed. Everything that happened at Nocwich, everything that happened after, it reopened old wounds. I blamed everyone, I blamed you, because blaming myself would have involved admitting just how little control I had.

[ when yennefer turns back to thancred, she offers another small smile, then leans forward and takes the hand he'd stretched out for her. her fingers wrap around his, squeezing gently. ]

You're not making the wrong decision here, Thancred. You have to know that.

[funbreaker]

[ Thancred can't be certain that the word "hate" has ever come up before in relation to how he'd betrayed Yennefer during the Nocwich attack, but he'd felt it all the same. She hadn't ever spat that into his face, but she hadn't had to, the distance that had grown between them speaking plenty on its own.

With his hand still hanging there in the air, waiting for Yennefer to take it, Thancred does feel oddly vulnerable. But he doesn't pull back, focusing instead on Yennefer's face and waiting for her to speak her piece, as he already has for himself.

It's illuminating to hear her talk of it now, to describe her past actions almost as if they belonged to another person. With the queen's life practically forfeit now as far as they know, perhaps she's realized that she can let all of those masks fall away and simply be herself.

He'd be the last one to judge. ]

You were right to blame me, for the record. I didn't mean it as a betrayal against you so much as keeping a promise to another, but that doesn't change what I did or how it all played out. It was a risk, one I knowingly took, and if you had suffered any worse consequence as a result, I never would have been able to forgive myself.

[ Oh, and finally, there's the warmth of her fingers wrapping around his hand. Thancred lets out a breath that had been caught in his chest and shuts his eyes for a moment, the relief washing over him. ]

I am sorry that I reopened old wounds. And I'm sorry if that's happening all over again now. [ He suspects that it is. Yennefer has been in some situation like this before, and surely that's why she's digging her heels in. When Thancred opens his eyes, his expression has hardened with determination as he stares her down. There's no reason not to lay it all out on the table now. ] Yennefer, listen to me. I don't want to leave you behind, if only because I can best assure your safety if you're at my side. I realize that's selfish of me, but...

[ He tightens his grip on her hand. ]

Well, I at least had to come say my piece. I can hardly force you, but I didn't want to leave without trying.

[ No, he isn't going to try and drag her to the caravan against her will. Yennefer will have to make this choice for herself. But he had to come see her before it was too late to make his stance clear. ]

[vixening]

[ no, the word 'hate' wouldn't have been said aloud. yennefer very rarely spend the time to voice it, when the feeling is a little too true. her actions tend to say plenty, and the distance she had very explicitly placed between them had been plenty loud enough. she knows thancred had known, knows that it had been something unspoken between them, and while some part of her wonders if it's even worth bringing up now, a larger part knows that there is no good in leaving it unsaid.

just as thancred sits there, hand outstretched for her own, and waits - open, vulnerable, patient - she can give him the same courtesy. ]

No, I wasn't. [ she argues with him, once her hand is in his own. once she crosses whatever marginal distance had been left between them. ] I had myself to blame, mostly. And then perhaps Lucifer, but that's only because I'll always find some way to fault him. [ which is... well, it's a joke, yes. but it's also an attempt at a diversion - yennefer, not really wanting to think too much on how poorly she handled past events, what she did and what she should have done, the wedge in drove into so much of her life. it all feels ridiculous, in a way, to think that at that time she'd thought it had all come crumbling down, when in so many more ways things were just beginning.

thancred closes his eyes, relieved, and yennefer watches - shifts so that she is leaning a little closer to him, her hold on his hand a little more settled. I am sorry he says, and she very nearly argues with him. tell shim that one more apology and she'll force him to have that glass of wine, but the mention of now has her stilling, because he is right. the old wounds, the fear that the familiarity of this all instills in her, it's the reason she is pushing back the way she is.

to be in that place again - scared, alone, without magic - she can't do it again.

she won't.

she isn't.

thancred opens his eyes and she sees the hardness in his gaze, the way his hands tighten around her own, and gods. she supposes that is it, then. whatever she had been musing, whatever she had been sure of but still unsure of, it all leaves her. I can hardly force you he says. ]

You could not force me, even if you attempted to. [ her eyes go to his hands, where they sit in her own. they linger there for a moment before she sighs, and then speaks. ]

I'm joining you and Stephen. [ which perhaps should be said in question, should be a request, but it is yennefer. there's no question there to be had. ] Wherever it is this stupid, vague plan is meant to take us. I've decided to come.

[funbreaker]

[ Thancred isn't expecting for Yennefer to gave him some grace for his past actions. Even if it's true that his choice hadn't been made with any intention to hurt her, he had still known the risk of what he was doing, of choosing to protect Solvunn's delegate over Thorne's. Himeka over Yennefer. He had hoped that the other Thorne Summoned would be able to cover things, and to some degree they did, but he still feels complicit.

Maybe Yennefer doesn't hold it against him, at least not anymore, but he always will. It's his way, for better or worse, and only more time will cause that guilty feeling to fade.

He does manage a small huff of a laugh at the mention of Lucifer, and while he would be curious to hear more of that implication and how Lucifer was even involved, now is hardly the time. He insists to himself that he'll get the chance to ask Yennefer about it later, even if their futures are so uncertain in this moment.

He could not force her. He knows this. But it's almost as if admitting that is what finally breaks through. Granted, Thancred doesn't attribute Yennefer changing her mind to anything he said, as such. He knows that Istredd spoke to her, and possibly Geralt as well. Even so, he heaves out another sigh, his hands taking tight hold of hers again, not particularly wanting to let go now. ]

And there is no one else I would rather undertake a stupid, vague plan with than the two of you. [ When it comes to his fellow Summoned in Thorne, they have always been his closest and most trusted friends. And perhaps it goes deeper than that now, and has ever since that bizarre, too-real dream. But again, now isn't the time to think of such things. ] Is there aught else you need to pack? I'm a decent workhorse, you know. [ Finally he pulls back, drawing his hands away almost reluctantly. But she's said she'll come, and he no longer needs to worry about her slipping through his fingers. ]