funbreaker | shit's going down in thorne (what else is new)

shit's going down in thorne (what else is new)

[ It's early evening when Thancred's message arrives, sent specifically to Istredd, Kyle, Stephen, and Yennefer. These are the people he's identified as the most at risk based on the note he received. To narrow it down to a number that could safely travel without attracting attention in the night had been its own monumental task, and he can only hope he's gotten it right.

Assuming all of them even agree to Jolene's offer. ]

Meet me in the secure wing of Istredd's domain in half an hour.
It's urgent.

[ Did he ask Istredd about this? No. Yet it's where they've had private meetings in the past, such as the one with their allies in the Free Cities, and so it seems the best option. Istredd will understand that if Thancred is invoking this, it's because it's serious. ]

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I've gotten good at it over the past two years, Yennefer, and you know that.
I chose to join the game, and I've done well enough to be here, haven't I?

[ Right there with her and the others. He's taken almost too well to the court, apparently. ]

Kyle and I can look after everyone. We're more than capable.
Stop underestimating me.
Sidwell has been planning this for months, we've all been witness to it.
You're going to fight us just to fight us, a part of you already knows what must be done.

Doing well enough and doing well are very different conversations.
But if you're looking for praise- then sure. Yes.
You've saddled up with Ambrose quite well for yourself.
And I'm sure that'll serve you when the tides turn and his head is on a pike.
Unless he's the fulcrum for how Sidwell's making his moves.
Now wouldn't that be interesting.

[ he has done well in court, and yennefer hates it. not that she hates his talents, but that she knows it's the furthest thing he's wanted to do. that it isn't who he wants to be. that he's had to, because she can't do it herself, couldn't have done it herself, and now look where that's led them. she's angry, and with istredd's direct conversation, he's become the target of that anger. something he perhaps doesn't deserve, but should have known would be coming. ]

I'm not underestimating you, you fool.
You're the one who told me I shouldn't face this court alone.
And now you want me to leave you here? To handle that, as well as everyone else?
You have not spent months down in those cells. You don't know what they're capable of.
And I won't leave you to suffer for what I know is waiting for you.

[ He sighs openly in her head because he knows he is getting the brunt of her anger. And he knows that she hates he's had to play the game so well. He doesn't love it either, but he does it because he must. She understands that much. He's stubborn though, as much as she is. ]

I am the Summoned with the most research on the Singularity who has been willing to share it.

I am confident I am not going to be Sidwell's true target.

Yenna, you can do no one any good if he decides to make a martyr out of you.

Ciri and Geralt need you alive, they don't need you here.

For all you know, you're going to a place where you can shore up support and make a difference.

[ Now he gets annoyed. ]

Do you think I want you to go? I love you. Who knows when we'll be able to see each other next?

But I trust that we will find each other again as we always have. And that this is the right course of action.

[ the open sigh is going to get a hard stare in return, directly through in their connection. because she is angry, and he should know she's angry, and yet still he says all the things he knows will anger her further.

it does remind her of their time back in school, when their explosive tempers would meet in the caves underneath aretuza. she's as comfortable here in this fight as she would be in a casual exchange, except for the topic at hand. ]

You are a Summoned who has information that they can take from you with or without your consent.
Confidence is what gets you killed, or worse.
And why would I be the target? Why not you? Or any of the other Summoned?
For all we know, Lucifer could be on the next pyre solely for the fact he's an example of who the Queen summoned.
Or River, or Jack.

And do not bring them into this.
Don't you think I know what they need?

We don't know the first thing about where we're going.
We're as likely to end up at the bottom of the fucking ocean as we are in a place where we can garner support.

[ but there it is - there is his annoyance. his reaction. that deep-seeded part of yennefer feels vindicated by it, because at the very least she is not overreacting. not if she can coax istredd to anger. ]

Is that the right course of action?
Because you've decided it to be?

I'm staying here, Istredd.

[ and she ends the conversation there - returning instead to the table, to the others. she all but snaps at stephen, acknowledges thancred's choice, and then as they all turn to leave and istredd catches up to her, she glares back.

when her eyes open, she is inside her classroom, her office. the door is closed and the wards remain up, a lock set in place just in case anyone decided to try and come find her here while she was meditating. she misses that about the illusionary centuries, the ease in which they could enter and leave the horizon without the preparations. still, there are other things on her mind as she stands and starts to get to work- searching through her stash of alchemic potions and ingredients for what she wants to send with thancred and stephen, the information giving her a sort of restless energy as she moves.

she knows istredd will find her, but she is not going to make it easy for him to continue this argument. she never has. ]

[ Istredd is not surprised when she cuts him off but he does shoot her a very annoyed look, at least right before she stomps off (aka leaves the Horizon) and he has to follow her out. Thancred and Stephen know they are leaving so he figures they can talk together, but it's his responsibility now to focus on her. The hard part is walking slowly to her office rather than running and getting attention, although he maybe walks a little more briskly than usual.

He is feeling a lot of things simultaneously. Fear is a heavy one, for the Summoned he is responsible for, not knowing when the coup begins or how it will go down. Will they just be locked off in their rooms until it's over? Will they be in the dungeons to keep them from fighting? Istredd doesn't know, which is why he has to stay there and be ready for it. His mind is reeling, making plans on the fly. Lucifer, Cassian, Geralt. He can't warn too many people so there is no panic.

But he has to deal with her first.

While he tried to be careful not running to her office, when he gets there, he drops some of his caution. It is well known the two of them are lovers. If anyone hears him slamming on the door, which he does now, they'll think it's a lover's quarrel. Which it is, technically. ]

Open the fucking door.

[ Knocking quietly and begging her to let him in is not going to help. He's doing what she would if the tables were reversed. ]

[ she does not stomp, thank you, but she also isn't very casual or cool about her frustrations. the annoyed look doesn't even get a reaction from her, as she storms off / wakes back up within the castle.

she bursts into motion because the restless energy will not calm, but it is a few moments later that she does find herself stilling, that her eyes turn to the rest of the room and all that she has packed inside. her time in this castle is hardly the longest she's been in a single court, and yet everything feels slightly off. like the information alone has shifted her entire understanding of this place, and her place within it.

the banging on the door rips her out of the trance, istredd's voice sharp and edged and it does all that it needs to do to bring her back to the moment. to the familiar feeling of their quarrel. ]

Open it yourself. [ her voice is loud, considering the evening hours. she is certain there are servants about that can hear them. but yelling back and forth with istredd is just another bit of court-life gossip.

she does not open the door, but she knows what istredd is capable of. knows that he can work his way through her wards and locks if he wanted to. and maybe this is partially her being petulant. maybe this is her buying time to build up her resolve. maybe... well. it could be a lot of things. ]

[ What may surprise her is how quickly and thoroughly he rips apart her wards and locks. Istredd's always been strong at both of them, and he has a very focused reason to get to the next part of this battle. They don't have an endless amount of time here. She's not really designed them specifically for him in mind and he knows how she makes them, so they unravel with greater ease than probably expected.

If the servants want to gossip about two of the most well-known Summoned having a lovers quarrel, they have a short amount of time to laugh about that before it all goes to hell around here.

So it's a short amount of time later that he pushes open the door and slams it behind him. Istredd sees her sitting and he knows that Yennefer doesn't linger this way unless she is truly sitting in the moment, and possibly her feelings about that. It softens his heart and truthfully, it's his heart that is most divided right now. She has to leave, and by leaving the castle, she leaves him. They may be able to see one another again, but they don't know right now.

They've been each other's constant since he arrived. Back to back, side to side, a team. He hasn't had to go a day without seeing her, the love of his life, something he treasured after all those decades separated from her. It's why instead of yelling to her, Istredd's heart twists and he ends up on his knees in front of her chair, reaching out to take her hands. ]

Do you honestly think I would be pushing you out that door if I didn't believe it was the right thing to do?

[ it both does and doesn’t surprise her. the level of warding and protective charms that they’ve produced has entirely been istredd’s doing; his focus on the abraxan magic, his experiments with them and their own wards from the continent. yennefer has not gone out of her way to personalize her own use of them, content with what istredd has been able to accomplish and focused on other things.

so his destruction of the wards and the force he throws open the door? does not shock her. the intensity that he slams the door behind him doesn’t either. it takes very little effort for yennefer to acknowledge the wards again, to push out and have them set back into place as istredd closes the distance across the room. but no- none of his entrance surprises her, as she very nearly prepares to stand, to reignite the vitriol she’d been spewing at him back in the horizon, when he drops to his knees. ]

Istredd, what- [ she starts, confused for a moment before he reaches to take her hands. she lets him, her moment of quiet and then his entrance and now this leaving her feeling a bit like she’s taken a wrong step somewhere, or the floor itself has tilted.

yennefer can see it in his expression - the twist in his chest, the way he feels it. part of her tells her to pull away, to separate them so she can find footing back in the fight, in the anger, but she can’t. instead, her hands curl around his - tight, a little desperate. ]

How can you say that it’s right? [ she frowns, shakes her head. she hates how her chest aches, how her throat tightens, but she has to make sure he understands. ] When I left Thanedd, I didn’t know what had happened to you- if you were dead, if you’d been captured. Now you’ve chosen to stay, when I know what will happen, but you’re convinced I have to go?

[ she’s gotten too used to this life of theirs, to having him with her in the castle, someone to fall back on, to rely on, to have on her side. she realizes now that she’s gotten too comfortable with it, to not feeling like she has to stand it all on her own, but running? leaving the place she’s been settled in since the beginning? ]

There are too many others here. I know you want to watch out for them- but there’s too many for you to watch on your own. I’ll stay, we’ll do it together.

I'm not important. [ And Istredd doesn't mean it in the way he used to. He has more value in himself now, it's more born out of logic. ] My reputation in Thorne is a harmless academic. Sidwell will see that and brush me off like all military people would. I'm not a threat.

[ Istredd can't know for absolute certain that he will get out of this. They don't know Sidwell well enough yet. He could be the kind to make violent gestures out of people, but he's skeptical of that. He's gambling his life and freedom on it, but he considers it a safe bet. One he'll make for himself, but not for her. Yennefer's always been the bigger target, in every aspect of their long lives. The leaders of the Brotherhood had it out for her, for example, powerful people always turn their eyes to her eventually.

Istredd holds her hands and sighs, lifting them to his lips to kiss the knuckles on each. He knows that this is the better approach to take, since them screaming at each other won't have them go anywhere. They can't have one of their fights and then make up after a day of silence. Time is of the essence. And this is the truth. It's a plea from the heart, not from the head. ]

Do you know what was on my mind when I thought you were dead after Sodden?

[ It's been awhile since he lingered on those memories but for a reason. They'd been agonizing at the time. Istredd said he always believed she was alive, that a part of him could feel her still, and it was the truth, but he also had to grapple with the possibility he was lying to himself. They've never talked about this. ]

That it was my fault. You came to me, and I pushed you away, and then you died.

[ Yennefer showed up at his dig and said the things he wanted to hear for decades, but he didn't trust it, he didn't want to hope again. It felt easier for them to not revisit what broke him in the first place. And a part of him was still angry at how thoroughly she discarded him. He drops one of her hands to reach up and brush her hair back, caressing her cheek. ]

You almost died coming to me in Cintra. You almost died in Thanedd. You almost died in Nocwich. I don't even know every other time your life has been threatened. Every time you keep living because you keep moving. Because you're a survivor, Yenna. And I need you to keep doing that.

Don't say that. [ she hisses, because while she knows he doesn't mean it in the same way, he still believes them to be true. in a different way, in a more logical way, but still. she can't just let him say that, can't agree with it no matter what she might throw at him when they fight. ] Your reputation is that of a Summoned who has learned their ways and their magic, and who is now teaching the others to know the same. You're stripping whatever power they might have had in their knowledge and you are inserting yourself in court. That isn't nothing, and if Sidwell is half the politician he thinks himself to be to pull something like this, he'll recognize that.

[ and yes, sure, yennefer is one of the few people here in abraxas that understand the extent of what istredd can do if he needed to. how powerful he can be, how dangerous. but even so, she knows what it is to be considered a prisoner in this castle. knows how much it had driven her mad. and that would be the least of istredd's worries, the worst easily being torture, death. yennefer knows what the queen has always been capable of, had tried to sideline it by attaching herself to her court. but if someone were going to depose her, she can only assume they have access to the same.

she can't have that - she's already stood by and watched someone she loved be torn apart by this kingdom. she can't stand the thought of it happening again.

he kisses her knuckles, his hands warm on hers, and yennefer knows what he's doing and can't do anything to stop it. she'd rather be angry, would rather scream and yell, perhaps even throw items across the room. let the sound of breaking glass and their indistinct voices tell everyone else in the castle that they're arguing again, that it can be shrugged off to be as simple as another one of their lovers quarrels.

but then he mentions sodden, and yennefer stills - it has been years since that point, and it feels like longer now, after their centuries of crafted memories, illusions inserted into their head. even so, she remembers it well - remembers the fire in her hands, the bodies around her feet. how that single night had changed so much. (she's been here, seen the pain and hurt and loss and anger in geralt's eyes when they came back with those memories, knowing, knowing what it had done to them, but-)

that I pushed you away, and then you died.

yennefer remembers it. it was a large reason as to why she was so angry with him when he'd first been summoned here, why she hadn't wanted to be in the same room as him. because she had gone to him. she had gone, and said what he had been waiting to hear, done everything right, had been certain that would be that, and he'd turned her away. it was pride, yes, but it had also been fear - fear that she's burned her last bridge, that there was nothing else left for her to go to.

in some ways, he had been the reason she went to sodden. why she'd ended up back at aretuza at all, when vilgefortz had first taken her aside, appealed to her senses. she'd liked him then, and gods, she'd been such a fool.

and now? now istredd's fingers brush her hair out of her eyes and she - perhaps a bit childishly - shakes her head, doesn't want to hear it. ] And where should I run? To Solvunn? To the Cities? I have run for so long, Istredd. When will it be done?

[ it isn't now - she knows that, even as the question leaves her. thorne was never meant to be her home, and for all that she's turned it into a place she can be comfortable, that still isn't true. she has too many others in other places, too many that she calls family, too many that she loves. but the question of when, of how, of if she'll ever get the chance to settle, anywhere...

she lets go of him with her other hand, taking bother and cupping each side of his face. the feel of his beard under her palm is familiar, it's good, but even as he holds his face some part of her knows it is something she will not have for much longer. not in this room, not like it has been for them.

but still, yennefer has to fight. has to ask. ]

What if it's time to make a stand? What if I don't want to leave these people? [ her eyes search his face, realizing how much she is looking for an answer to that question. how much she wants istredd to have an answer for her, even when she knows he can't.

because he does have a point. she can't ignore the logic of his argument, or the fact that if she decides to stay, it will most certainly mean another attempt on her life. how many does she have left to survive? how many until the final one? the fear of it settles in her chest, cold and rough. ]

I won't be hunted again. And I won't leave knowing you- [ she cuts herself off, shakes her head again. ] I can't.

[ A part of him does think he's unimportant. Mostly it's in comparison to others. Less important than her. Less important than Geralt, than Ciri, and also to the others here. Istredd never had any connections before. He had Triss and Yennefer, and the latter was taken from him in one way or another in their life, but he and Triss only saw one another occasionally. He was very alone, for a long time. And then he came here and he got Yenna back, but he also found friends. Family. A purpose and a place for himself.

That is why he understands her situation right now. She already lost at Thanedd and now it's being stripped away from her again. Not a home, Thorne isn't really that, but people can be a home. He isn't going to argue his lack of importance with her now. She understands courts better than him. If Istredd has made himself a presence here, it is because he wanted to stand next to her, her equal and support system. Apparently it worked too well. ]

I wish you could run to the Cities. I wish you could run right to Cirilla and never see this damned place again. You'd be where you belong, with them.

[ With Jaskier and Geralt and Ciri. Her true family, the people she loves above all others. She would be happy with them, that he knows. In a way she's not entirely used to, and Istredd would love that for her. She could be the mother and partner she's craved for decades. That's what she deserves. Istredd would toss her into a portal there if he could, without any regrets, because he loves her.

Unfortunately that is not likely to be an option right now. But he hopes that if she ever gets the chance, she'll take it. Free herself from this trap that she's been in. He can get locked behind and he's chosen it now, just as she did before. If he can carry her burden for her, he will. ]

There's no stand to make here, Yenna. We're not going to fight off a dictator. The best you can do for our people is go and regroup somewhere safe. You won't be leaving them for good. You'll see them all again.

[ If not in the Horizon, hopefully in Nocwich when she lands on her feet. Istredd assumes Nott is the obvious answer, although it could be Hayle, although that's a long trip. If she's moved to another territory, fine, but the point is, it's not here. And she will see all of them again. ]

You can. You know what you would say if our positions were reversed. You would have already kicked my ass and put me on a horse yourself. [ Istredd smiles, shaking his head, amused. ] Because you know it's what has to happen.

[ Istredd leans in and kisses her. With infinite gentleness and tenderness. If it's too passionate, it'll be like a kiss goodbye, and that will only upset them both more. Instead it's an expression of love and nothing more. No desperation that this is their last one because there will be others. A hundred years from now he will still kiss her like this, and that's his promise. Eight hundred years, even. ]

You have to trust me.

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